Date: 21.02.2007
Time: 6.00 p.m.
There are times when people feel the need to shout at the top of their voices. There are times when people feel the urge to break furniture ─ even age-old heirlooms cherished for centuries. There are times when people feel so frustrated that they are willing to indulge in any act, however abysmally stupid or moronic it might be, just to vent steam which appears to issue from their ears on close inspection. When I am faced with times like these, my solution is simple ─ I want chocolate. Not only do I feel calmer but I also find myself a lot more benevolent towards the world, which I had thought insufferable before popping a chunk of the delicacy into my mouth.
My obsession with chocolate goes as far back as the time when I first learnt of its existence. A mite-sized brat was ‘rewarded’ for doing her homework by a generous family-member. When I think about it, I sometimes wonder whether that person did me a favour or led me down the path of self-destruction (ever heard of ‘death by chocolate’?) by initiating me into the ‘I am addicted to chocolate’ cult. However, never mind that, for I am digressing from the main issue here ─ I want chocolate.
I seem to be plagued by contradictory thoughts these days. I am unsure as to whether I should continue to endure this pathetic excuse for a life that has become my existence, or simply pack my bags and head for the South Pole. Then I think of the weight of great expectations ─ expectations from me that I am not likely to live up to, expectations of people who have nothing better to do in life but tell young, impressionable and naïve people to strive for excellence when they themselves fall far short of that desired goal. (Haven’t these people heard of, ‘Practice what you preach’?)
The tiresome conversations that I have with people can usually be classified into two categories ─
1. Silly conversations with silly people who cannot possibly mind their own silly business and have a strong compulsion to interfere in other people’s lives in a silly manner while commending their silly selves on the great job they are doing in ‘encouraging’ the future generations to continue in tune with the same brand of silliness that they advocate.
(These people usually have no idea that they are being a pain in the you-know-where and are shocked, surprised and indignant when told the truth).
OR
2. ‘Well-meant’ conversations with well-wishers (I wonder, do they make wishes in wishing wells to have them addressed by the term? But, I digress…) who feel that it is their duty to guide the young and the hopeless in the right direction and prevent them from straying into the danger-zone of aimlessness by constantly stating the obvious which has no need to be stated in the first place, to the point of insanity.
What these people, who are well-meaning and a lot of other ‘well-’s do not realize is that they cause more damage than what any wishing well could ever repair even with the labour and efforts of all the fairies in Neverland!
After another of either one of these conversations, I want chocolate… I need chocolate to soothe my frayed nerves!
The place where I am forced to spend my days is filled with people whose peculiar mannerisms (peculiar to me, that is) and idiosyncrasies border greatly on the bizarre. I am generally expected to be Mr. or I should actually say, Miss Dependable (in capital letters, mind you). The world is at liberty to do every wrong thing imaginable, but no, I have no such right. After all, I am The Example ─ the one who serves (all puns intended) as the epitome of irritatingly good behaviour. So many look up to me ─ I cannot possibly let them all down by breaking (or bending, which is more my taste) a few rules! (Point to be noted class ─ sarcasm).
Well then, if that were the case, if I truly were an example to all that I know, I would not have minded it so. However, what truly aggravates me is that in spite of all my efforts at putting up that ‘I-am-oh-so-perfect’ image, at least on the public front and behaving perfectly, there are still people who continue to tread the forbidden path. Alas! My sacrifice is in vain! (Points to be noted ─ sarcasm and pique). I remain miserable in my perfect discomfort while there are others in similar positions who merrily abuse their position and privilege. Now, the more indulgent of you are sure to remark that I am indeed young and perhaps a tad bit hopeless too, but I must point out that from my point of view at least, if not yours, I have every right to be peeved… and so I want chocolate!
But why do I want chocolate of all things? Why do I crave for it whenever I find myself quite unwillingly plunging into pools of thoughts that are a gloomy shade of blue? How does it help alleviate my mood? In answer, I must say that apart from the pure joy that radiates from my being when I find it melting in my mouth ─ slowly at first and then dissolving into a tantalizing blend of the sweet and the bitter, creating havoc among my taste-buds, the endorphins that are released, work wonders in gently placating the angst-ridden teenager who happens to be me. The acerbic taste in my mouth quite literally, melts away into saccharine serenity. To cut a long story short, I feel better, much better. So, now that I have disclosed the ‘cookie-monster’-ish aspect of my nature, I will hide under a rock and have chocolate!
End: 6.50 p.m.
Time: 6.00 p.m.
There are times when people feel the need to shout at the top of their voices. There are times when people feel the urge to break furniture ─ even age-old heirlooms cherished for centuries. There are times when people feel so frustrated that they are willing to indulge in any act, however abysmally stupid or moronic it might be, just to vent steam which appears to issue from their ears on close inspection. When I am faced with times like these, my solution is simple ─ I want chocolate. Not only do I feel calmer but I also find myself a lot more benevolent towards the world, which I had thought insufferable before popping a chunk of the delicacy into my mouth.
My obsession with chocolate goes as far back as the time when I first learnt of its existence. A mite-sized brat was ‘rewarded’ for doing her homework by a generous family-member. When I think about it, I sometimes wonder whether that person did me a favour or led me down the path of self-destruction (ever heard of ‘death by chocolate’?) by initiating me into the ‘I am addicted to chocolate’ cult. However, never mind that, for I am digressing from the main issue here ─ I want chocolate.
I seem to be plagued by contradictory thoughts these days. I am unsure as to whether I should continue to endure this pathetic excuse for a life that has become my existence, or simply pack my bags and head for the South Pole. Then I think of the weight of great expectations ─ expectations from me that I am not likely to live up to, expectations of people who have nothing better to do in life but tell young, impressionable and naïve people to strive for excellence when they themselves fall far short of that desired goal. (Haven’t these people heard of, ‘Practice what you preach’?)
The tiresome conversations that I have with people can usually be classified into two categories ─
1. Silly conversations with silly people who cannot possibly mind their own silly business and have a strong compulsion to interfere in other people’s lives in a silly manner while commending their silly selves on the great job they are doing in ‘encouraging’ the future generations to continue in tune with the same brand of silliness that they advocate.
(These people usually have no idea that they are being a pain in the you-know-where and are shocked, surprised and indignant when told the truth).
OR
2. ‘Well-meant’ conversations with well-wishers (I wonder, do they make wishes in wishing wells to have them addressed by the term? But, I digress…) who feel that it is their duty to guide the young and the hopeless in the right direction and prevent them from straying into the danger-zone of aimlessness by constantly stating the obvious which has no need to be stated in the first place, to the point of insanity.
What these people, who are well-meaning and a lot of other ‘well-’s do not realize is that they cause more damage than what any wishing well could ever repair even with the labour and efforts of all the fairies in Neverland!
After another of either one of these conversations, I want chocolate… I need chocolate to soothe my frayed nerves!
The place where I am forced to spend my days is filled with people whose peculiar mannerisms (peculiar to me, that is) and idiosyncrasies border greatly on the bizarre. I am generally expected to be Mr. or I should actually say, Miss Dependable (in capital letters, mind you). The world is at liberty to do every wrong thing imaginable, but no, I have no such right. After all, I am The Example ─ the one who serves (all puns intended) as the epitome of irritatingly good behaviour. So many look up to me ─ I cannot possibly let them all down by breaking (or bending, which is more my taste) a few rules! (Point to be noted class ─ sarcasm).
Well then, if that were the case, if I truly were an example to all that I know, I would not have minded it so. However, what truly aggravates me is that in spite of all my efforts at putting up that ‘I-am-oh-so-perfect’ image, at least on the public front and behaving perfectly, there are still people who continue to tread the forbidden path. Alas! My sacrifice is in vain! (Points to be noted ─ sarcasm and pique). I remain miserable in my perfect discomfort while there are others in similar positions who merrily abuse their position and privilege. Now, the more indulgent of you are sure to remark that I am indeed young and perhaps a tad bit hopeless too, but I must point out that from my point of view at least, if not yours, I have every right to be peeved… and so I want chocolate!
But why do I want chocolate of all things? Why do I crave for it whenever I find myself quite unwillingly plunging into pools of thoughts that are a gloomy shade of blue? How does it help alleviate my mood? In answer, I must say that apart from the pure joy that radiates from my being when I find it melting in my mouth ─ slowly at first and then dissolving into a tantalizing blend of the sweet and the bitter, creating havoc among my taste-buds, the endorphins that are released, work wonders in gently placating the angst-ridden teenager who happens to be me. The acerbic taste in my mouth quite literally, melts away into saccharine serenity. To cut a long story short, I feel better, much better. So, now that I have disclosed the ‘cookie-monster’-ish aspect of my nature, I will hide under a rock and have chocolate!
End: 6.50 p.m.
