Saturday, 11 October 2014

Saudade

Clearing out my old room today made me unearth so much of my childhood and teenaged years. From scraps of paper with notes passed in class, to old meticulously preserved colour pencil sets, letters from friends from a decade ago to 'quote books' filled with college quips! I even found an old ridiculous passport sized photo of a school chum, aptly titled "Arpita's Funny Photo 2006".

Most hilarious was finding my old college revision schedules, scrawled quite neatly on sheets of paper even though these were made in panic-mode a week before the exams, which had a to do line item called "Watch Grey's Anatomy with Ma" in every single semester!

The memories keep coming back and it is heartbreaking to let go of the past sometimes... Especially on the eve of my last evening at home this year, all these memories seem dearer than ever.

Hopefully, cardboard and duct tape will be enough to let me hold on to my childhood for at least a little longer even if I live far away, in both Time and Space. Thank goodness for little boxes!


Friday, 10 October 2014

Atonement

The dagger slicing through my heart tonight
Deserves to leave a deeper mark
One that will carve out all the darkness within
And leave an empty hollow quite stark.

The rot has spread to all my veins
Blood pouring fitfully through them with much disdain
Yet deserving to see the light of day
Than be enclosed within vessels that feel no pain.

The gleam of the blade oh so enticing
The ruddy shade always what attracted me best
For it brings with it an awakening
Letting you bleed out all the rest.

All my flaws descend tonight
Their marks forever etched
For one that forgets deserves to be forgotten
Lost amidst all that is wretched.

I have no music left in my soul
Which is scented with the decay
That adorns an artist who's lost her art
And now has a price to pay.

The night is shrouded in noisy silence
As the shadows disembark
And the hint of a bloody moon
Wanes quietly in the dark.