Some Whine

It is not funny at all when boredom is all you can write about. Watching lizards crawl up walls isn’t very amusing either. And the fact that there seem to be no cute and tiny spiders around doesn’t improve things much. Life is hard at such times, and I find myself wasting the entire day instead of going through stuff I need for the exam I have on Monday. Yes, my exams still aren’t over, even though I spent the entire week sitting for four hour long papers in the heat. It’s almost as though they’ve decided to behave like guests who come for a day’s visit with that visit stretching on for weeks. Heartless, absolutely.

And therefore, I am left with no choice but to pace restlessly about my room, drink lots of water and sing songs meowing like a cat. Oh and I’ve also been indulging in a bit of a capella. Now that is fun, although having an endless stretch of exams is not.

I know I am whining, but well, I have nothing else to do at the moment. (Except study, of course, but that doesn’t count, to be very honest). I’m hoping that Uncyclopedia or Cyanide and Happiness will offer some inspiration from mirth so that I may laugh my way to sleep. Have I ever mentioned how absolutely addictive laughter is? I think I might have...

I’d wanted to eat ice-cream today. Le sigh. Oh well, I shall have my fill of funny dessert pretty soon, oh yes! I’m wondering how to spend the rest of the evening, though. Suggestions, anyone?

For Felicity

Date: 19.05.2008
Time: 11:57 p.m.

Let us enter a world of swirling motions
Where the people bubble in and out of reveries
Feeling strongly the need of those free notions
To let them rise beyond blue mysteries.
Laughing strongly at colours flying before them
They reach out and feel these with a twitch of the nose
Exuberant they are, as they feel no fear from them
Blending in moods with an artist’s easy pose.

Oh let us explore this realm and lose ourselves in it!
Give in to the allure of the carpet’s reclining chair...
Breathe in winds from distant fancies
Composed concertedly like a symphony in air!

Look about this land, and come, we shall play
This time is ours to hold and mould as we may,
Would it not be a waste to waste away this vision?
With no need of forceful airy unsolicited submission?

Join me as I walk my way through fields that set me free
Sing with me, and sing for me, those charming melodies
Wrap me up in a blanket of leaves from my favourite tree
Kiss the sky hosting a friendly sun and answer to its pleas.
Skip with me and jump with joy at limpid lakes that show
A smiling reflection staring dreamily at a wistful boat
Whistle with the wind that teases waters that can glow
Take me by the hand and upon this we shall float.

End: 00:19 a.m.

Fear Of A Blank Mind

It’s really funny how the fear of failure can drive us into forceful and decisive action against the demons of procrastination and laziness. I am amazed at my own response to this fear, although I can’t truly say that I am working my arse off.

Nevertheless, it is better than waiting for my rear end to resemble the burning end of a rocket... nah, I like my comfort. I’ve had enough of pressure all my life. It is time for a change.

And of course, thinking that I can complete more than seventy odd chapters the day before an exam is wishful thinking, even for the likes of me. I’ll be extremely glad when all of this is over though.

Hopefully, the holidays will be good.

Void

Date: 09.05.2008
Time: 11:20 p.m.

A vacuum lay before me
Like an abyss stretching from the stars
Down to the fiery depths below
There was not much of hope lying within
But instead, a gnawing ache eating into my heart.
The jolt of awakening gave me quite a start.

The moment I knew of what lay beyond
In its sinister crevices spanning the void soul
I did my best to hide it and fill it as I could
With poetry and words, with melodies and songs
Singing praises to a glory that I felt not.
And by its deceiving rapture, it seemed I was caught.

Still, those ephemeral joys carved out of air
Spun out of fairy silk and paint drops and woven into dreamy tapestry
Kept me amused and veiled my eyes
Long enough for complacency to settle
The void was nothing but the vestige of a nightmare.
Gladdened and at peace, my eyes were shut on impulse there.

Oh wait, but! There knocked the night,
Morbid screams of unanswered emptiness
The instant the day was satisfied
With all its rabid monsters and frightening calls
The void would beckon darkly, alluring in its misery.
A fool I was to think it to be a trifling trickery!

What ether can silence its call? I wondered
Fill the gap and cement the rocky joints?
Regal fancies seemed not enough
For they melted into whence they came from
The imaginary held no power over the physical and real.
My drawn out spirit turned to blood that would congeal.

Where the words, music and art
Failed to sate the gaping void
Spirit and a spirited heart thwarted its lurking menace
Therein lay true freedom from wretched suffering —
The light that embraces darkness to give fireworks of hope,
To stay and slay emptiness, and carry across the precarious tightrope.

Spirited presence, delivered in truth, compassion and faith.

End: 11:54 p.m.

High on the Heavens

Thunderstorms make me high. There is something so poetic about them, the way the water decides to rush downwards, experiencing a long-awaited embrace with the thirsty longing ground, the way the sky lights up abruptly, in clairvoyant camaraderie with the Heavens, the way the forks of lightning make me want to twirl round and round, round and round, soaring on air, hand in hand with something incredibly filled with love.

I want to dance in the water that suddenly becomes cold after a drearily dehydrating day, feel the wind on my face and take in an intoxicating smell that my nose can’t seem to get enough of... And I want to take a long walk down a boulevard, letting the sights and sounds permeate my senses, filling them up with sheer bliss as I witness the beauty of trees whose lofty green tresses have been bathed in the glorious downpour.

The walk, though apparently solitary, would have my mind overwhelmed by the connection I feel with the universe — the joy of glancing at the world around you with kindred company and feeling one with it, oblivious to everything else. I would have beautiful, heartfelt, exalted love take me by hand and walk me through this path. There would be no emptiness in this. Only the ecstasy of a flight under the stars.

Oh the rain! Oh the thunder! Oh harmony on earth! This is to you. This is to love. And I say again, thunderstorms make me high.