Date: 10.05.2007
Time: 10:30 p.m.
A few simple words can hold a world of meaning in them. They might seem unintelligible, or perhaps even border on the ridiculous to many, however, to some, these few words can be enough to transport the mind back to the time when everything was ‘normal’ (or at least, it appeared so), when people were less troubled and when some loved ones were still living. A few apparently nonsensical words can quite literally, work magic and charm their way through a person’s memories and make the ‘happy-times’ resurface, even if it is for a short while.
People hardly get chances to reflect on those odd moments when life is tranquil. It is only when some great upheaval has taken place that a person desperately tries to cling onto the past … hold on, and not let go of memories that are slowly becoming murky shadows and fading links day by day, memories that will remain as memories alone, for the past is not to be experienced once again as the present. This eleventh hour instinct prevalent in people makes, even the best of them, often forget that what is gone is truly gone. People cannot return from the dead. No amount of grief, despair, longing or desperation can change that law of nature.
Now, one way of dealing with death is by remaining in a state of shocked silence. Not speaking of it, not thinking about it — forcing those uncontrollable emotions of sadness, guilt, remorse, anguish and even anger into the deepest realms of the mind, where they remain suppressed, at least temporarily. Every time one of these emotions strays away into the conscious mind and softly nudges, it is bottled up once again and left to lurk in the shadows of subconscious depths. However, this can be sustained for only as long as a person remains living in delusion. The moment hope of reversal of events is gone, when the person emerges from the self-induced trance, the dam bursts, resulting in a surge of overwhelming feelings that break all barriers of reason and transform the person into a ‘human traffic wreck’.
At this stage, there is nothing else to be done — you let yourself be consumed by those very emotions you were running away from … the emotions, which intensified on being denied expression for so long. After you are spent, you revert back to that numb and shell-shocked state, hoping that you have the strength to survive each day that lies unendurably before you.
It is at times like these that a few words uttered by one long gone when life was serene, help steady a person and bring a dash of tranquillity back into the picture. You can draw strength from those words, laugh at them or even release that breath you’ve been holding for so long — and you are not mentally hyperventilating anymore.
“Nitwit”, “oddment”, “blubber” and “tweak” — words uttered by a man who will live on forever in the hearts of those who are truly loyal, although he may no longer reside within the pages of a magnificent alternate world created on paper. These words serve as a reminder of better times which had existed in the past and might also exist in the future if one cares to live to see it change into the present. Just four words hold both the power to inspire and the bracing touch that tells a person that death never has, never will, and cannot ever bring life to a standstill.
So, I go back to the past, relive a few good moments, and return to the present to face the future, saying, ‘Nitwit oddment blubber tweak!’
End: 11.10 p.m.
Time: 10:30 p.m.
A few simple words can hold a world of meaning in them. They might seem unintelligible, or perhaps even border on the ridiculous to many, however, to some, these few words can be enough to transport the mind back to the time when everything was ‘normal’ (or at least, it appeared so), when people were less troubled and when some loved ones were still living. A few apparently nonsensical words can quite literally, work magic and charm their way through a person’s memories and make the ‘happy-times’ resurface, even if it is for a short while.
People hardly get chances to reflect on those odd moments when life is tranquil. It is only when some great upheaval has taken place that a person desperately tries to cling onto the past … hold on, and not let go of memories that are slowly becoming murky shadows and fading links day by day, memories that will remain as memories alone, for the past is not to be experienced once again as the present. This eleventh hour instinct prevalent in people makes, even the best of them, often forget that what is gone is truly gone. People cannot return from the dead. No amount of grief, despair, longing or desperation can change that law of nature.
Now, one way of dealing with death is by remaining in a state of shocked silence. Not speaking of it, not thinking about it — forcing those uncontrollable emotions of sadness, guilt, remorse, anguish and even anger into the deepest realms of the mind, where they remain suppressed, at least temporarily. Every time one of these emotions strays away into the conscious mind and softly nudges, it is bottled up once again and left to lurk in the shadows of subconscious depths. However, this can be sustained for only as long as a person remains living in delusion. The moment hope of reversal of events is gone, when the person emerges from the self-induced trance, the dam bursts, resulting in a surge of overwhelming feelings that break all barriers of reason and transform the person into a ‘human traffic wreck’.
At this stage, there is nothing else to be done — you let yourself be consumed by those very emotions you were running away from … the emotions, which intensified on being denied expression for so long. After you are spent, you revert back to that numb and shell-shocked state, hoping that you have the strength to survive each day that lies unendurably before you.
It is at times like these that a few words uttered by one long gone when life was serene, help steady a person and bring a dash of tranquillity back into the picture. You can draw strength from those words, laugh at them or even release that breath you’ve been holding for so long — and you are not mentally hyperventilating anymore.
“Nitwit”, “oddment”, “blubber” and “tweak” — words uttered by a man who will live on forever in the hearts of those who are truly loyal, although he may no longer reside within the pages of a magnificent alternate world created on paper. These words serve as a reminder of better times which had existed in the past and might also exist in the future if one cares to live to see it change into the present. Just four words hold both the power to inspire and the bracing touch that tells a person that death never has, never will, and cannot ever bring life to a standstill.
So, I go back to the past, relive a few good moments, and return to the present to face the future, saying, ‘Nitwit oddment blubber tweak!’
End: 11.10 p.m.
7 comments:
The only way to deal with a trigger, is to DEAL with it.
Once tackled, it leaves us at peace.
Everyone needs closure.
I'm not sure you've got it yet.
But getting there..?
.
:)
atta gurl!
After all, to the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure...
hmmm...i nkow ur one heckuva loyalist to "the man"....
somethings are immortal....so is "the man"....
my hail to him....
tomar notun Avatar truely IS Miss.Morbid!
I couldn't have said it better either -- nitwit oddment blubber tweak! I love this post!!!
A big THANK YOU to everyone who has commented. I guess, most of you are Dumby loyalists (well, I am too), however, I just want to point out that although I've used Dumby's words, this post wasn't exactly about Dumby. (Pujarini, I think you're the only one who didn't take it literally, *hugs*).
I suppose that that is how it would seem to a reader; in a way, I am glad, since it is way too personal and I had had second thoughts about putting it up anyway, so if people think that it is about Dumbledore, it is no trouble at all for me :) .
I was (correction: still am) greatly inspired by Dumby and so his words remain in my mind during many occasions. Let's just call it a day and say that this post was about the person I wrote it about with Dumby lurking in the "shadows of subconscious depths". :)
I believe that we have never met, but I like your writing. It has substance which some may call morbidity. Most people these days have been oozing on the stuff.
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