Date: 14.01.2008
Time: 00:20 a.m.
Scarcity is the order of the day, for I have been rather scarce for a long time. Scarce with thought, speech and action … scarce with words. My constant companions had seemingly deserted me, but what I have realised is this. As long as I force myself to give the largest muscle in my body a little nudge in the form of a kick, the words are bound to flow. They dare not play hide and seek with me.
I’ve been kept busy. The whispered calls of real life were audible to me and thus I’ve been drawn to reality for a while — at least my perception of it, that is. Now, I’ve become bored and decided to return. Life continues to beat its never-tiring heart, even when flames consume the futures of some, spreading ashes before their eyes. That is but the course of human nature. The chaos is essential for the order to be necessary.
It is actually rather pointless to note all the ‘events’ that have taken place. There isn’t much to say in any case. I happen to remain essentially the same person I was a year back, flaws and vulnerabilities intact. I don’t think it is something that can be altered. All I can do is perfect that which masks these from the world, that’s all … Nothing more than that.
To be honest, I am not really surprised. I’ve always known that it is impossible to change a person’s basic nature. I used to wonder why people bothered ‘changing’ themselves for other people. Besides, there is another factor that is to be taken into account: you don’t always get what you want. Not that that should stop you from wanting what you want, as long as you realise and accept the extent of its probability of attainment.
At this moment, I am not bothered by the inconsistency that I see. Part of the reason is that I have things to occupy myself with, and the other part is a healthy bit of scepticism regarding the world. I know that people are essentially selfish and it isn’t something that shocks or disturbs me. I accept the trait in myself and other people and am hence unaffected. At least, that is what I’d like to think. These ‘plastic’ beings don’t know that they’re being so. Their behaviour should not necessarily have to affect my peace of mind, should it? Therefore, I do not complain.
End: 00:40 a.m.
Time: 00:20 a.m.
Scarcity is the order of the day, for I have been rather scarce for a long time. Scarce with thought, speech and action … scarce with words. My constant companions had seemingly deserted me, but what I have realised is this. As long as I force myself to give the largest muscle in my body a little nudge in the form of a kick, the words are bound to flow. They dare not play hide and seek with me.
I’ve been kept busy. The whispered calls of real life were audible to me and thus I’ve been drawn to reality for a while — at least my perception of it, that is. Now, I’ve become bored and decided to return. Life continues to beat its never-tiring heart, even when flames consume the futures of some, spreading ashes before their eyes. That is but the course of human nature. The chaos is essential for the order to be necessary.
It is actually rather pointless to note all the ‘events’ that have taken place. There isn’t much to say in any case. I happen to remain essentially the same person I was a year back, flaws and vulnerabilities intact. I don’t think it is something that can be altered. All I can do is perfect that which masks these from the world, that’s all … Nothing more than that.
To be honest, I am not really surprised. I’ve always known that it is impossible to change a person’s basic nature. I used to wonder why people bothered ‘changing’ themselves for other people. Besides, there is another factor that is to be taken into account: you don’t always get what you want. Not that that should stop you from wanting what you want, as long as you realise and accept the extent of its probability of attainment.
At this moment, I am not bothered by the inconsistency that I see. Part of the reason is that I have things to occupy myself with, and the other part is a healthy bit of scepticism regarding the world. I know that people are essentially selfish and it isn’t something that shocks or disturbs me. I accept the trait in myself and other people and am hence unaffected. At least, that is what I’d like to think. These ‘plastic’ beings don’t know that they’re being so. Their behaviour should not necessarily have to affect my peace of mind, should it? Therefore, I do not complain.
End: 00:40 a.m.
3 comments:
Realistic, cynical and THE best way to look at life. LD can write alright!
Worldly-wise? Aha! I wish I had your brains, you know. I mean, not for lunch.
One Cynic. Two Cynics. Three Cynics. Many Cynics.
Funny how I wrote a "happy" composition through the eyes of a cynic for my english.
And yes, chaos. Chaotic neutrals run the world. Not for us mere mortals.
And I know I don't make sense. I never do. The weakling that I am, I cannot face anything. Meh.
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