I Am A Rock

A cyclonic circulation is what is responsible for the city being held hostage by rain.

The stock market has showed an uncharacteristically uplifting upward urge for a Monday.

Claude Monet is set to be finally given a major exhibition in Paris.

Those are just headlines. This is my life. I find solace in Simon and Garfunkel at the oddest of times, in the oddest of songs. Not that I am feeling particularly petulant, but a certain train of thought set off a certain flurry of emotions and swept me right off my balance. It is rather peculiar how something that you don't normally think of at most times suddenly pops up inside your head and dictates how you feel for the rest of the day. I'd say that it's as bad as how uncomfortable you get when you suddenly remember that you've forgotten to brush and squirm wondering whether your breath stinks.

Funnily enough, I am feeling far more flaccid in terms of thoughts. Yet, there is this strange pull tugging at my consciousness and making me want to sit and brood. Do we all go through phases when we want to shut out those we love and just stay isolated, like an island? I'm not sure whether my own responses can be considered normal. I've almost always been the loner, and liked it that way. Nevertheless, recently at least, I haven't really felt the urge to shut shop and withdraw all that often.

Today, for some reason, I want to let all the sarcasm out, all the nastiness, and most importantly, all the feelings of sheer sordidness that are still trapped somewhere within. Then again, it could also be that I'm hungry... and too hungry to realize just how much.

The mundane part about it all is that I'm in the middle of exams and all that is frustrating about life is suddenly doing a bold tango before my eyes. It's only a few more days, but although the rational side of me is patiently waiting for the next Act to unfurl, the more human part of me just wants to jump out of my seat!

Perhaps it would have been better if I had indeed been a rock. "A rock feels no pain". Neither does it have to sit for sinfully squalid semester exams (or Mid-semester ones at that). I presume things are building up since I've been purposely starving myself of things I love doing (and even I don't know why I do that). 

Or maybe I just need to switch to another song.