Date: 31.08.2007
Time: 2:00 p.m.
It’s funny how much life changes with time. You think that you know yourself — the kind of person you are, how you react to situations, how you react to people … But then, one day, you might just spring a surprise on yourself. You let a certain thought enter your mind, let it incubate for a while, and then voila: you find that your point of view regarding an issue has changed! No longer do you have the same stubborn opinion. You don’t dismiss an idea as absolutely wrong. You open your mind and your eyes to consider other options. You’re willing to try out something new — you’re willing to change.
Life always brings with it, a multifarious meld of situations which make you re-think the way you live. Sometimes, it involves being at the receiving end of a string of disappointments. You feel anxious, worried, worn-out, stressed, torn and at a loss as to how you should proceed. Often, if a great many such incidents occur together, you feel as though you’re being pushed to the very edge. And at this point, the slightest nudge is enough to have you lose your footing and fall.
The more you are denied what you’ve been longing, the more you feel that the whole world is conspiring against you and you find yourself gripped by a heightened sense of paranoia, coupled with a cynical distaste for the people around you. You stop trusting people, even if it is against every innate instinct. And this is not precipitated by disappointment alone. It is brought on by repeatedly having your immaturity, innocence, faith and naïveté taken advantage of by shallow ‘second hander’s who have nothing better to do than feed off others and derive vindictive satisfaction from it.
Well, that is life. And you learn to take it in your stride. You have to, in any case, since you lost your choice to do anything but that the moment you decided to inhale the first breath of air the instant you were born. You have to survive. You have to live … no matter what happens. Even if people are snatched away — young, healthy people, people who remembered to wish you on your birthday after a long tiring day at work, people who had no business to die all of a sudden, leaving others behind in a state of shock.
This is actually where time surprises you. You think that there isn’t the slightest chance that you will heal. You’re convinced that you will continue to wallow in anger, despair, grief, self-hatred and pain, some of which is even self-induced. However, one day, you simply wake up and find that the old wounds don’t hurt all that much. You’ve forgiven some people for hurting you. You’ve stopped re-living some emotional wounds. You’ve learnt to accept a few ‘facts of life’ with sporting grace. You’ve lost some inhibitions and learnt to ‘loosen up’. You’ve learnt to understand, accept and allow certain attributes of the world and its people. You have stopped shouting and yelling and rebelling about every little thing. You grow up a bit, and stop being that petulant twelve-year-old brat for a while. And then, you realise that life is one shade lighter.
End: 2:35 p.m.
Time: 2:00 p.m.
It’s funny how much life changes with time. You think that you know yourself — the kind of person you are, how you react to situations, how you react to people … But then, one day, you might just spring a surprise on yourself. You let a certain thought enter your mind, let it incubate for a while, and then voila: you find that your point of view regarding an issue has changed! No longer do you have the same stubborn opinion. You don’t dismiss an idea as absolutely wrong. You open your mind and your eyes to consider other options. You’re willing to try out something new — you’re willing to change.
Life always brings with it, a multifarious meld of situations which make you re-think the way you live. Sometimes, it involves being at the receiving end of a string of disappointments. You feel anxious, worried, worn-out, stressed, torn and at a loss as to how you should proceed. Often, if a great many such incidents occur together, you feel as though you’re being pushed to the very edge. And at this point, the slightest nudge is enough to have you lose your footing and fall.
The more you are denied what you’ve been longing, the more you feel that the whole world is conspiring against you and you find yourself gripped by a heightened sense of paranoia, coupled with a cynical distaste for the people around you. You stop trusting people, even if it is against every innate instinct. And this is not precipitated by disappointment alone. It is brought on by repeatedly having your immaturity, innocence, faith and naïveté taken advantage of by shallow ‘second hander’s who have nothing better to do than feed off others and derive vindictive satisfaction from it.
Well, that is life. And you learn to take it in your stride. You have to, in any case, since you lost your choice to do anything but that the moment you decided to inhale the first breath of air the instant you were born. You have to survive. You have to live … no matter what happens. Even if people are snatched away — young, healthy people, people who remembered to wish you on your birthday after a long tiring day at work, people who had no business to die all of a sudden, leaving others behind in a state of shock.
This is actually where time surprises you. You think that there isn’t the slightest chance that you will heal. You’re convinced that you will continue to wallow in anger, despair, grief, self-hatred and pain, some of which is even self-induced. However, one day, you simply wake up and find that the old wounds don’t hurt all that much. You’ve forgiven some people for hurting you. You’ve stopped re-living some emotional wounds. You’ve learnt to accept a few ‘facts of life’ with sporting grace. You’ve lost some inhibitions and learnt to ‘loosen up’. You’ve learnt to understand, accept and allow certain attributes of the world and its people. You have stopped shouting and yelling and rebelling about every little thing. You grow up a bit, and stop being that petulant twelve-year-old brat for a while. And then, you realise that life is one shade lighter.
End: 2:35 p.m.
P.S. : This sounds a lot more positive than how I was actually feeling. Nevertheless, writing rot instead of paying attention in a certain professor’s class is the better choice any day.
3 comments:
i told you.
what?, you ask.
nothing, i say.
Vary phunny, I tell you.
Everything changes.
ah you said it perfectly well!i agree completely!
Post a Comment