12:15 p.m.
Mr. Bean: (while discussing some rot which no one was paying attention to anyway) “Have any of you got cats as pets?”
LD: (muttering under her breath) “I have a pet brother! Does that count?”
DM: (looking and pointing at LD in a mousy manner) “She is one.”
Mr. Bean: “Cats do not have a mechanism for the removal of paracetamol. So, if your cat gets fever and you give it paracetamol it will accumulate in its body ultimately killing off your cat.”
The above words are spoken with a happy and satisfied smile, and the sentence is finished off with a grin.
DM: “He’s smiling! What kind of a person is he? A sadist?”
VB: (grimly) “I’m going to report him to PETA.”
LD: (thinks) ‘GAH! And what is the connection between membrane proteins and cats dying of paracetamol? I decide to pay attention for once and this is what happens! Meh.’
Mr. Bean continues to speak in a language that only gerbils can comprehend correctly while the animal activists get back to their state of well-cultivated ennui.
12:25 p.m.
The class has ended. People are happy. Then, out of nowhere …
Mr. Bean: “How many of you have seen Star Wars, the so called new episodes?”
LD jumps up and down in her seat. She is very excited. Her hand shoots up into the air from the last row. Her hand is the only one up.
Mr. Bean: “Well, there are some people called the Yay-dhee …”
LD: “Jedi!”
Mr. Bean: “… Yay-dhee who have this power to do things … They have something called ‘midhichlorian’, which helps them become Yay-dhee…”
LD: (very agitated) “It’s JEDI!”
Mr. Bean: (continuing in spite of the lack of enthusiasm from most of the class and death-glares from one agitated member) “How many of you have seen the original trilogy?”
LD and VB raise their hands. LD starts mentally ticking off the names one by one.
LD: (happily) “A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi …”
Mr. Bean: (ignoring everyone else) “After the success of these, George Lucas became very influenced by science fiction.”
LD: (mouth hanging open) “…”
DM: (insinuatingly) “How come you didn’t know that? You pseudo!”
LD growls.
Mr. Bean: “The original Yay-dhee …”
LD: (interjecting) “JEDI!!!”
Mr. Bean: “… was Luke Skywalker…”
LD smiles at the mention of the name as it reminds her of uber-cool action sequences involving the said person. She even forgives the speaker the error of calling Luke Skywalker the “original Yay-dhee”.
Mr. Bean: (smiling foolishly by this time) “… and yes, in the new ones it was Anakin Skywalker before he became Darth Bhay-darr.”
LD: (thundering) “VADER!!!”
LD starts shaking visibly and keeps sending death-glares to the blasphemous person. A disturbance can be felt in the Force. LD is then asked to control herself by DM.
LD: “Blah!”
Mr. Bean: (while discussing some rot which no one was paying attention to anyway) “Have any of you got cats as pets?”
LD: (muttering under her breath) “I have a pet brother! Does that count?”
DM: (looking and pointing at LD in a mousy manner) “She is one.”
Mr. Bean: “Cats do not have a mechanism for the removal of paracetamol. So, if your cat gets fever and you give it paracetamol it will accumulate in its body ultimately killing off your cat.”
The above words are spoken with a happy and satisfied smile, and the sentence is finished off with a grin.
DM: “He’s smiling! What kind of a person is he? A sadist?”
VB: (grimly) “I’m going to report him to PETA.”
LD: (thinks) ‘GAH! And what is the connection between membrane proteins and cats dying of paracetamol? I decide to pay attention for once and this is what happens! Meh.’
Mr. Bean continues to speak in a language that only gerbils can comprehend correctly while the animal activists get back to their state of well-cultivated ennui.
12:25 p.m.
The class has ended. People are happy. Then, out of nowhere …
Mr. Bean: “How many of you have seen Star Wars, the so called new episodes?”
LD jumps up and down in her seat. She is very excited. Her hand shoots up into the air from the last row. Her hand is the only one up.
Mr. Bean: “Well, there are some people called the Yay-dhee …”
LD: “Jedi!”
Mr. Bean: “… Yay-dhee who have this power to do things … They have something called ‘midhichlorian’, which helps them become Yay-dhee…”
LD: (very agitated) “It’s JEDI!”
Mr. Bean: (continuing in spite of the lack of enthusiasm from most of the class and death-glares from one agitated member) “How many of you have seen the original trilogy?”
LD and VB raise their hands. LD starts mentally ticking off the names one by one.
LD: (happily) “A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi …”
Mr. Bean: (ignoring everyone else) “After the success of these, George Lucas became very influenced by science fiction.”
LD: (mouth hanging open) “…”
DM: (insinuatingly) “How come you didn’t know that? You pseudo!”
LD growls.
Mr. Bean: “The original Yay-dhee …”
LD: (interjecting) “JEDI!!!”
Mr. Bean: “… was Luke Skywalker…”
LD smiles at the mention of the name as it reminds her of uber-cool action sequences involving the said person. She even forgives the speaker the error of calling Luke Skywalker the “original Yay-dhee”.
Mr. Bean: (smiling foolishly by this time) “… and yes, in the new ones it was Anakin Skywalker before he became Darth Bhay-darr.”
LD: (thundering) “VADER!!!”
LD starts shaking visibly and keeps sending death-glares to the blasphemous person. A disturbance can be felt in the Force. LD is then asked to control herself by DM.
LD: “Blah!”
6 comments:
"Bhay-darr"?
"Yadhee"?
WHAT IN THE BLOODY WORLD?!?!??!?!
All Hail Yadhee Dharth Bhoi-darr!!!
I labh Mr. Bean.
hehehhee...yeshhhh mr bean s making quite an impression !!!
oh gawd...i burst a vein somehwere...laughing!
Ah!! Entertaining classes you must be having...
I hope Mr. Bean's imaginary Teddy bear friend remains blind till the end of his imaginary days!!!
Btw, I've seen the Prequel Trilogy too... so, would've raised me hand if me was in ur class. :D
Brilliant writing!
Kudos!
Cheers,
-Johnny Deep.
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