Closed channels never help anyone. It is a pity that it is indeed the first line of defence for most when faced with a challenge. Whoever said that life is going to be good? It isn’t. But that doesn’t have to necessitate the shutting of all doors leading out of your own head. It’s still possible to live. And anyway, nothing is permanent and there is no point clinging on to moments simply because those were times you felt secure. Nothing stays, and there is no choice but to evolve, and to go with the flow.
Why am I suddenly harping about this? It’s mainly because I feel the need to let myself know that all is not lost when something doesn’t come about the ideal way. Of course it isn’t pleasant, far from it actually. I don’t expect to feel high on chocolate at these times, although, I suppose a bar or two won’t hurt. Still, the truth is that life sucks. But that doesn’t mean that I have to stay moping, brooding or sulking, or wasting water as tears. There are good moments, and I plan on enjoying them as they come, and yes, letting go of them when I need to. Do I have a choice? In a way, yes, but the alternative involves sinking lower and lower into depression, which I’m somewhat bored of by now. I’ve had enough. Now numbness helps. It helps quite a lot, so again, I’ll go wherever I’m being taken and try to look at everything objectively, almost as though I’m witnessing someone else’s life.
Let me see how this arrangement works out. Heh.
“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse...
Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you”
— Coldplay
Why am I suddenly harping about this? It’s mainly because I feel the need to let myself know that all is not lost when something doesn’t come about the ideal way. Of course it isn’t pleasant, far from it actually. I don’t expect to feel high on chocolate at these times, although, I suppose a bar or two won’t hurt. Still, the truth is that life sucks. But that doesn’t mean that I have to stay moping, brooding or sulking, or wasting water as tears. There are good moments, and I plan on enjoying them as they come, and yes, letting go of them when I need to. Do I have a choice? In a way, yes, but the alternative involves sinking lower and lower into depression, which I’m somewhat bored of by now. I’ve had enough. Now numbness helps. It helps quite a lot, so again, I’ll go wherever I’m being taken and try to look at everything objectively, almost as though I’m witnessing someone else’s life.
Let me see how this arrangement works out. Heh.
“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse...
Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you”
— Coldplay
2 comments:
I feel the same way. All too often.
Atleast let's rejoice we're still young...or one day, wasting water as tears we'll know we've lost all those tiny things which used to hold back, if not vaporize, those tears at one point of time...
Hugs.
*Hugs*
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