Date: 28.06.2008
Time: 00:43 a.m.
I wish June would stretch on for eternity. This childish desire to extend time and stall it has not been left behind the closed doors of childhood. I would still harbour hopes, deep down that a miracle will let this happen, although I know that it isn’t likely at all. This month has given me a lot of things I hold dear, and will do so in the coming months. And yes, I need all the strength that I can muster, and all the courage that I can gather, just so that I can live out twin lives during this time.
I’ve noticed that it is easy to forget how the days fly when you experience those rare moments of bliss. The nights can be equally agonizing when blankness stares at sleepless eyes through the clouded dark sky… this transpiring when the days that don’t seem to end saunter to a close after many hours of harrowing nothingness. Somehow, I can’t seem to get used to this, and find myself marvelling at it in philosophical moments.
Even the scent of an ended day can bring mixed feelings with it. A well-spent light-time calls in restful sleep, while the jittery restive daylight moments bring with them equally peace-less nights. I’m certain that this is another whim of nature, designed to trap humans into the web of their own pondering, just so that more such fruitless hours are wasted thus.
My life has taken some interesting turns and I’ve ventured into unexplored paths I never thought myself capable of finding. I’ve always had to pay some price or the other for most things, but usually, I haven’t minded doing so. I don’t quite believe in nostalgia, and although regret is a usual part of morose existence, there is one part of my life, at least, that shall not be tainted by it. I refuse to allow such thoughts to enter. It’s a case of going scarce on butter for a while to be able to taste wine later. And I am most certainly not giving up when the going gets tough. Not for this, at least.
I still wish June would last longer though. Somehow, the thought of facing those months that loom before me does not appeal much to my imagination. The scorching heat may have parched my lips and throat, yet it has also dried the murky water surrounding me, replacing it with the fresh fragrance of rain. Long, calming walks have helped put my mind at ease and I’ve got a taste of life in my mouth. I would miss it if I were denied it for even a short stretch of time. My soul has been drenched in peace and it longs to cling to this state for as long as it can.
The rain-soaked earth before me is slippery in many places. I know that I must be careful while treading these. I can hope that I have the skill to cross this stretch before I can walk into the beautiful steady grounds of the awaiting future.
End: 1:15 a.m.
Time: 00:43 a.m.
I wish June would stretch on for eternity. This childish desire to extend time and stall it has not been left behind the closed doors of childhood. I would still harbour hopes, deep down that a miracle will let this happen, although I know that it isn’t likely at all. This month has given me a lot of things I hold dear, and will do so in the coming months. And yes, I need all the strength that I can muster, and all the courage that I can gather, just so that I can live out twin lives during this time.
I’ve noticed that it is easy to forget how the days fly when you experience those rare moments of bliss. The nights can be equally agonizing when blankness stares at sleepless eyes through the clouded dark sky… this transpiring when the days that don’t seem to end saunter to a close after many hours of harrowing nothingness. Somehow, I can’t seem to get used to this, and find myself marvelling at it in philosophical moments.
Even the scent of an ended day can bring mixed feelings with it. A well-spent light-time calls in restful sleep, while the jittery restive daylight moments bring with them equally peace-less nights. I’m certain that this is another whim of nature, designed to trap humans into the web of their own pondering, just so that more such fruitless hours are wasted thus.
My life has taken some interesting turns and I’ve ventured into unexplored paths I never thought myself capable of finding. I’ve always had to pay some price or the other for most things, but usually, I haven’t minded doing so. I don’t quite believe in nostalgia, and although regret is a usual part of morose existence, there is one part of my life, at least, that shall not be tainted by it. I refuse to allow such thoughts to enter. It’s a case of going scarce on butter for a while to be able to taste wine later. And I am most certainly not giving up when the going gets tough. Not for this, at least.
I still wish June would last longer though. Somehow, the thought of facing those months that loom before me does not appeal much to my imagination. The scorching heat may have parched my lips and throat, yet it has also dried the murky water surrounding me, replacing it with the fresh fragrance of rain. Long, calming walks have helped put my mind at ease and I’ve got a taste of life in my mouth. I would miss it if I were denied it for even a short stretch of time. My soul has been drenched in peace and it longs to cling to this state for as long as it can.
The rain-soaked earth before me is slippery in many places. I know that I must be careful while treading these. I can hope that I have the skill to cross this stretch before I can walk into the beautiful steady grounds of the awaiting future.
End: 1:15 a.m.
2 comments:
"It’s a case of going scarce on butter for a while to be able to taste wine later. And I am most certainly not giving up when the going gets tough. Not for this, at least."
Heh.
I wish June would last longer too. Oh well. There'll be more Junes later, eh?
Good for you. :)
Please do elucidate on the "interesting turns" in your life...
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