So yes, my friend DM cursed me over the phone just a while back. Her very scientific curse ensures that I will definitely have a child (much to my annoyance) and that I will be in labour and a lot of pain for twenty four hours during the process of having one, as well as have a difficult period of motherhood in later years as my would-be child will emerge to be one of those “moody teenagers” (spoken in hushed dark undertones) who will give me a lot of trouble and be difficult to handle. She also added that she would not help me bring the creature up in any way. This is to be my “punishment” for not being fond of the idea of personal kids.
DM also told me that she was telling me all of this now, when I am much too young to digest the concept so that I am “prepared”. I don’t think anyone has ever told this woman how good a disapproving-mommy-tone she can take when she is in the mood. And so, much to my distaste, I am cursed since she was not pleased at me saying that the idea of sitting down every evening and teaching an eight-year-old History does not appeal to me much. Neither does the idea of cleaning smelly diapers and handling an even smellier mini-individual.
The truth is although I am apparently an excellent baby-sitter, I’m hardly the sort to coo and gush about babies. I don’t get the urge to cuddle the nearest infant I see neither do I die of a cute-overload. They’re alright on other people but I like to keep my distance. I don’t have visions of being surrounded by babies in my Dream Home in fantasyland. In fact, I avoid them as much as I can. They have power. And. Adults (myself included). Should. Be. Wary. Of. Them. Sadly, however, thanks to their very deft manipulation of the minds of fellow creatures, most humans perceive them as innocent and harmless while they are, in reality, out to flood the world in torrents of smelly poo. Thereby taking over the world economy, of course.
And most regretfully, I have now been cursed. Cursed. Cursed. To be an Agent of their Manipulation. The idea really doesn’t please me at all. DM had also added some other parameters to the curse, which, to preserve my modesty, cannot be written of. Sigh. Could anything be worse?
DM also told me that she was telling me all of this now, when I am much too young to digest the concept so that I am “prepared”. I don’t think anyone has ever told this woman how good a disapproving-mommy-tone she can take when she is in the mood. And so, much to my distaste, I am cursed since she was not pleased at me saying that the idea of sitting down every evening and teaching an eight-year-old History does not appeal to me much. Neither does the idea of cleaning smelly diapers and handling an even smellier mini-individual.
The truth is although I am apparently an excellent baby-sitter, I’m hardly the sort to coo and gush about babies. I don’t get the urge to cuddle the nearest infant I see neither do I die of a cute-overload. They’re alright on other people but I like to keep my distance. I don’t have visions of being surrounded by babies in my Dream Home in fantasyland. In fact, I avoid them as much as I can. They have power. And. Adults (myself included). Should. Be. Wary. Of. Them. Sadly, however, thanks to their very deft manipulation of the minds of fellow creatures, most humans perceive them as innocent and harmless while they are, in reality, out to flood the world in torrents of smelly poo. Thereby taking over the world economy, of course.
And most regretfully, I have now been cursed. Cursed. Cursed. To be an Agent of their Manipulation. The idea really doesn’t please me at all. DM had also added some other parameters to the curse, which, to preserve my modesty, cannot be written of. Sigh. Could anything be worse?
11 comments:
dood you only dislike kids. i HATE them.
:D
i heart this post!!!
and guess what i wrote something in the same lines on my other blog.teehee! go read. http://www.iwonmyownpetvirus.blogspot.com
u an adult! HA! noone thinks so- sadly....
u r still a pre-teen...
but kids don't go around baby sitting!!
and who have u been baby-sitting?
sweetheart, history repeats itself- since u urself are a very moody teenager...
ur son/daughter will not be much different- after all it will your own flesh and blood!!
and i bless u now- that u will love being a mother when u r finally a mother- trust me u will.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I LOVE THIS POST.
<3
is this a change in perceptions that we are seeing? you and Jadis bringing a new wave of babes who don't want kids!!
Nice, we like! We approve!! Totally!
:)
N
@asmita
who wants to grow up anyway?? i bet she's happier being a 'pre-teen' than she could ever be as an adult full of effin responsibility and care.
:)
but yeah anyway, LD, both of us, as Kris says, have gotta keep an reminder to this page that goes off in ten years' time. Don't worry, only to prove our point once all over again.
PEACE.
Jadis: Hehe. I read your point of view, ja? And Kris' idea is a good one. Either way, we win. Right? :P
Asmita: Er, right. I've been baby-sitting my cousins since they were born. And other neighbouring kids as well. Besides, whenever I had to attend a social gathering which had a lot of kids they'd be flocking to me. *rolls eyes* Can't say I enjoy it much. They seem to like me for some weird reason.
I prefers pets any day.
And yes, it is sweet of you to bless me so.
Marina: Hehe. Thanks!
Nothingman: Well, females are conditioned to want kids from the moment they are born. If you have a slightly older girl in a bunch of kids she's expected to "mother" the younger ones. It's sick. I don't know, but you'll find very few women who are willing to admit that they dislike the idea of kids, it's mostly the social pressure in a way which results in this. I mean, hey, if a man says he doesn't want kids, it's considered manly and perfectly acceptable. If a woman says the same, she's judged to be some kind of heartless monster. Whoever said women have to be maternal? Besides, the world is already full of examples of poor parenting. Don't we have enough spoilt and pampered brats already? How do I know that I won't end up doing the same? Blah.
Hahaha. Let's see what happens once you actually become a semblance of what you will become.
*insert mysterious music*
:-p
As the person who knows the aforementioned scientific gaali[s], I tell you that probability is a very vital factor in this entire, virtual and 'cursed' ordeal. xP
I *could* also make evil/perverted comments about "difficult period of motherhood". MUHWABUAWHUAHAHAHWHAHHAHA :P
The point is, LD, is that you are a very logical person. Logical people tend to take mothering/babysitting/generaloverlord[/lady]ing in a very disciplined and orderly manner. And you being a girl, even more so. But that won't stop me from saying that DM has cursed you. Yeah.
Stay away from that girl. :P
Haha.You're the 1st girl I've seen who does NOT lose all vocabulary save for 'awwwww' when she sees a baby.Its OK, upto a certain point,but when EVERY time a girl sees a baby and goes 'awwww',its FUCKING irritating. And then they tell you to look at that kid and do likewise, and all I manage to say is 'hmmmph'.
Well I just hope this curse does not come true.Or it shall spell APOCALYPSE.
Ali: Ha ha, funny! :P The essential me won't be changing though. It never does. :P
And enough with the mysterious all-knowing-smugness people! :P
Kaz: I swear! I need to steal the Heart of Gold! :P
And I should, shouldn't I? ;D
Metal-Militant: Hehe, yeah. I swear. :P Oh the horror!
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